Letter to santa.

I was watching a movie on HBO in the afternoon, Dennis the menace or something. Reminded me of my 2nd class, when dad used to call me a "female dennis". Hated it when he used to nickname me. Anyway, I hit upon an idea of writing a letter to santa. Okay, I know. There's no such santa and blah blah blah. Its my belief innit(learnt it from Z! :P)? This christmas,( I feel like a six year old now. :)) I've decided to send a long list to dear santa..hope he doesn't deliver the pesents late...aah never mind!
To dear Santa,

I have always been fascinated by your existence. You are really 150 years old or your beard is a real one, I don't know. But since my childhood, I've always stared out of my bedroom's window to catch a glimpse of your rein deers and you and your bag full of presents. I love your reindeers actually, and the bells jingling, aahh..love the christmas spirit.I know, I have been a good girl and a bad girl this year, Do I have to be a good girl to ask for my presents? If not, can I get them next year? Okay never mind. But please please eat the cookies I've kept near the window.I'll make them myself, okay? Oh oh, yeah my sister wanted to drop a hello too. But this letter is entirely BY ME! Ok, may be you could drop a few presents for her too. Well, can I start my list now? Cause I don't want to forget anything. And to be honest santa, I knew it was dad who kept those presents under the tree.But, I still believe in you.You are the main reason why christmas is soo exciting. :):)
1. Please get me a new phone, not nokia though. God, Nokia is sooo irritating.I DON'T want an I-Phone.Any other phone, with a proper camera, a good design, and easy an comfortable to use. :: uhh..yeah. That's all with the phone thing.
2.Please, make me 3 more inches tall. I feel like a kid in my class. Drop some secret potion which will make me taller, stronger, sharper. (Okay! NO horlicks. I hattee horlicks.)
3.Please, drop me a nice laptop, oh no, I can have that later, okay okay drop me a nice i-pod. A proper Apple I-pod.
4. Drop me a pic of yours, your house in the north pole, and your reindeers too.( Psst can you take me there sometime?)
5. I know,all these are materialistic. But can you really give me something immaterialistic? If you can, then please please, drop soo much of love potion on my country, that you'll find love everywhere.(Didn't mean anythign gross. Think of it from an innocent kid's brain!!)
6.Please, see that the idiots of my class, yeah, they must be reading this now, do not trouble me, and let me live my life.I hate hate (ooops Did I just say the H word?? haaaaaawwww!) it when they cross limits and comment about me being weird and blah. No, let's make it easy. Let me not bother. I wanna be free from those ppl. I know they don't deserve to be talked to. :) But, aah, give them somebrains and drop a lil x-mas spirit in them too. Bah. I can't act rude too.
7.To mum,chinni,aarthi,jahnvi, disha,malu,rachana(i haven't seen her til now. but she's sweet something.:)), and all the other girls I call my pals, I couldn't have possible written your names here,but yeah,them all, please please grant them their wishes too. They are the best people I've met on earth.:)
8. To dad,rahul,shrujan,amal,shiva,pratheek,anna,varoon,and the gang, aahh...all of them too, please grant them wishes too. Amazing ppl again! :)
9.I want nice shoe too. I don't care if converse suit me or no. Hell, I WANT converse. I'll do with ballerinas too. Oh, loads of good books too.
10. Please make me responsible, loving, determined, and please please make me a nerd!! Oh..a smart nerd, :p please..please. And please see that All my wishes come true.psst: could you, could you please drop a hi to lewis hamilton too. Love his speed n him. Plz plz..ohh yeah please see that a few of my friends..you know, THEM, get normal and live happily instead of cribbing. And, I know..they are not the same once they are out of their computers. Whateva, make them normal. That's all.
Thanks a loot santa. I hope, you'll fulfill all of the above. Uhh..did I ask a lot? Please please see to it that I also achieve my dream (heheh!) after 12th. PLease please, if not all the above stuff, let my dream come true! I'l bake you more cookies the next christmas then.:)
I hope you really fulfill them.
I'll try and be as good as possible the few years. Unless, some dumb jack, or jill provokes me.
Ho ho ho ( why do you sat that by the way? What is your mother tongue actually? Why don't you stay in the south pole? What do you eat for lunch everyday? Why do you give free gifts actually?)
Merry christmas santa! love you loadss...no really, not only for the gifts,beard,or rein deers.

loots of love,Snigdha. (If you come home and find a fair, cute, doll-eyed girl, with shiny black hair, and an amazing smile, then that's my sister. Watch out! Don't drop the presents in front of her. drop them behind the tree okay?)
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I feel sick. Sick of everything around me.Hate it when I feel like this. Even after attending such workshops? Yes. Coz this feeling is one super-duper powerful one.It all started at a holy place. And ended in my shitty computer. What's the purpose? : God knows. I was always right about this one stuff!Anyway, have learnt to move on. Letting go. *DAMN!!!*
Its been a week and a half since I touched my books, oh-oh touching is not a problem, but going through.All i do is stare or text. Addiction man!
Today is dad's b'day. Happy b'day daddy! And the most weirdest part is, I was the last to wish him before the whole world did. : yep. Thanx to my laziness streak!
I argue, I criticize, I yell, I sulk,.....what's the whole point? Carrying out one thing, venting its anger over something else? I know, this post doesn't make any meaning. All I wanted is to let go of all the things iv buried deep and haven't learn to get over with. If pratheek or vijay anna would have been here, I would have had another counselling session. To escape all that, Ive decided I'll post it up here. Cause, I can bet my life, and tell you, this blog is the only place, I become my self. I cannot be myself outside. My dad expects me to be sunita williams. My mom expects me to be some prodigal kid. My sister admires me for God knows what reason!! Why do they expect so much? Am this lazy kid, who is really scared of physics, and is escaping it as easily as possible, knowing that I'll suffer later. Isn't this sadism??
Like I said. I am not ME. I am not trying to be me too. I am scared. I've lost people I loved the most. People I could talk to forever. People I've always loved to be around. And one day you wake up and realize you've messed it all! That day would come to you like a tsunami, hit you so hard, that you will dare not care for anybody else. And that is exactly what is happening!
Monday.tuesday.Wednesday.Thursday.Friday.Saturday.Sunday.MONDAY! One whole damn week! Drinking coffee (o.k I am still a kid acc to my parents. No alcohol allowed!), acting like am a real time killer, roaming around with friends, and day dream even if am with them!
I wish I had a pill that could cure me once and for all, with my illness. Why are people so happy? No, why are they burning inside and still putting the smile on?
God! I need some training. I wanna learn how you can lie without being caught, how you can rewind time and still waste it, how one can say something to someone and still not be bothered.
There was a week, exactly. 1 week, and that made me the most silent girl in the class. It made me the most balanced girl, one could have met. Cause I thought I had everything I wanted in that one week. And the next week. Things are not the same! Why? And that made me everything I am now. If am talking to disha, I've gotta be telling her anything, with such sarcasm(wet! obvio!) and poor thing, actually bears me. If am talking to K.d, am something, I am into my own world of fantasies and dreams and how one can cry over the past!. He's one guy who can cool me up! And if am talking to Pratheek? Don't ask me! I dunoo if I ever want to be rude, but I hate talking that way. I hate telling him, he one stupid guy I met. I hate telling things I never meant. Shrujan.....my lost lasting best friend too found some shity changes in me. He's the only damn guy on earth to support me even if am killing him up slowly!
This is what is bothering me! I want to be myself! But am not supposed to. College too. Bloody arrogance. I hate it. I hate it when.....ahh man! I've gotta letgo.
All I wanted to write was, Dad even though I've been a really arrogant kid, and pretend not to listen to you, I love you the most.You've been a great person. Me n chinni have no better idol to admire. Happy b'day.
To all you people, who are reading this, and giggling for yourself, yeah saddistic pleasure, fulfill yourself.
To all those who are reading it, and thinking of telling me I am an idiot. Well, I was. Nomore one.
To all those of you, who are reading it and .......Ahh love you guys! No matter how I am...you have always been there. Too many names to write down. But you'll know which category you belong to.
I hope, I'll have a new beginning now. I want to break free from every damn thing that is holding me to the ME now. And then, brush my teeth, get ready and go write a damn exam!

AAhhhhhh not again!!

Love you loads,
Snigdha.


Life is a big mess. Only when you get through the maze you'll find the cheese isn't it?
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